instead, I sleep

It's October, and this is why I love fall- the colors you can taste, the wind you can smell. The crisp air and strange things that are just begging for adventure. The sky is low, my cheeks are flushed, my shoes are up to the task of becoming worn out,my mid-term studying can wait, and I ate my pumpkin pie before I could take a picture.

and yet... what better way to spend the day then to slip into a hoodie, make a chocolate latte, and curl up with a book while listening to the rain.

That is the most wonderful and frustrating thing about September-October. I should be studying, or catching up with friends, or writing, or practicing piano, or completing a pinterest project, or doing something useful with my life. But sometimes on these cold fall days, in a state where the leaves hardly change color before falling off, and anything exciting is fifty miles away... it just seems so nice to fall into old habits of hoodie-latte-book-rain routine.

I probably sound so lazy. And yes, I'll admit it, I am. I like sitting inside with my small comforts. But I like doing exciting new things too. And really I guess it's not very important which way I spend my fall days, as long as it's part of something that matters. As long as it is something trading a day of my life for.

I don't know what that is yet. Maybe I never really know till the day comes. What I do know is that today while it rains I will sit in my sweater drinking my latte writing a blog post and listen to Ingrid Michealson because that's a good way to spend today.

And tomorrow, who knows? Maybe find some leaves to jump in.

day of mon

Monday
mon-
(adj.) french for my
-day
(noun) the time between sunrise and sunset
litteral meaning- my day.








how like me to have such a crazy day as my favorite. I'm not sure how to describe why I like mondays because I don't understand myself but I'll do my best. mondays make me think of early, quiet sunrises. of productive mornings and lazy afternoons. evenings with books and song lyrics. Thanks to my deformed schedule, monday isnt just the day after the weekend for me. It's my day. Waking up this morning with coffee and a cozy sweater could only be matched by getting ready for bed while listening to the rain. today was better than most days.

and a lot of times I have bad days. I don't talk about them because no one needs me telling them what a bad day is like, we all hae them. But today was better than most days and I want to treasure it. I want to measure my life in days like this.

there was you, there was me

Dearest Sabrina,
     I know we haven't spoken in almost a year. I know you're at college with other people and other adventures, but I want you to know that I still look up to you, and pray for you. You constantly inspire me and your advice still encourages me. I'm lucky to call you my friend even if you've forgotten me.

Dear little boy at the park,
     While I passed by you, you threw a stuffed animal a hundred feet in the air that I was sure was going to land on me. I'm still amazed you caught it.

Dear Sonya,
     I wonder how you like England. I wonder if you still sing and play your guitar around other people. If you still wear flowers in your thick black hair. I wonder if you are the picture of loveliness to other little girls just like you were, and still are, to me.

Dear Jonathan,
     Five minutes after meeting you, I wanted to travel to the exotic places you've been. But ten minuets after meeting you, you became the first person to convince me that my own backyard is one of the best places to be, because I saw how much you wanted to stay here, the place that felt like home.

Dear chef in Florida,
     I had never had a vanilla latte muffin before. I haven't found one since. And I know it's silly, but what could have been a bad day turned out all right because I had the most delicious breakfast ever.

I could write letters to many more people, but these were the ones I was thinking about today. These people will probably never receive those letters. They probably have no idea I exsist, or they don't remember me. But I remember them. They were a part of my life, no matter how small. And small details of insignificance are all I can think about.

I still remember the song Sabrina recommended to me when I was feeling lonely.

I still remember that stupid folding chair I couldn't get open and Jonathan had to help me.

I remember how a college student said she loved monday mornings as she passed by, while I ate my muffin. I still can't figure out if she was being sarcastic or not.

Details that obviously impacted me in some way so as to stand out long after.
Incidents that had no obvious significance but are cherished memories.
I don't know why I shouldn't, but I don't let them fade.

she was born in black and white

{via}   Her face was a
map of the world
the mountains
and valleys of
a well travelled soul
that could be read
between the oceans
called her eyes. She
was born in
black and white
into a world of
aquarel colors. Her laugh was
a sad song-
the only window to her beauty. Her words were
stories
and her stories were
mischievous whispers
I wish she had told. Her pain,
her burdens,
was hidden in
the corner of her
smile
as mysterious as the
freckles behind her ears. When she was here
we hardly noticed.
When she left
I looked around
and wondered what was wrong
as I do before
I realize
a bird has stopped
singing.
And in the wake
of her footsteps
the faintest scent of morning rain
still hangs in the air.

and here...we...go.

August is such a bittersweet month for me. on one hand there is my birthday, perfect weather, and what can be described to be a mid-race adreanalin rush that feels like a second new years.
It's also the end of summer, the beginning of school, and a whole new set of resolutions and changes that feels like a second new years.
I'd be lying if I said I hated school. I'd be lying if I said the opposite. There's a sort of excitement of learning that gets squashed by a mound of homework assignments.
The first week of school I thought, at least I won't have to worry about my end-of-the-year-exams becaus I'll probably be dead by then. Buried alive in equations and essays.

So you see, I have no idea what this school year could hold. I have this horrible mental illness where I'm determined and lazy at the same time. Or maybe I'm just stubborn.
But I want to do really well this school year. So these are my ten commandments that I keep in my notebook:

1.  Acknowledge the fragile state of balance that exists between deep sleep and your alarm clock.

2.  Do not seperate creativity and knowledge. Learn all you can; apply all you learn.

3.  Get organized and prepare for the day even though it's homeschool.

4.  Your coffee cup must be filled every day.

5.  Write everything down- so you don't forget the important things, and you can get the distractions out of your head.

6.  Get up in the morning with the hope something spectacular is waiting.

7.  Never stop working hard. Come May there will be no more time for second chances.

8.  Take the limited free time in the day and fill it with things and people you love.

9.  Smile more. (It's not that bad)

10.  Die daily to self. Refer to these rules often. No exceptions.

What does this school year offer for you? Is it going to be different from previous years? Do you have any tips?

of serendipity

i'm not a professional at anything. i live in a small town, i do small things. my writings are mediocre and my pictures are amature-ish. i can't promise this will be an exciting blog about an interesting life.
but even though i don't travel the world with my camera and be a published author and have adventure after adventure as i might like to, my life is anything but boring. one never knows what is just around the corner, even for a quiet girl in small places. there is never want for opportunity. there is never a person you meet who isn't meant to be loved. never a dream that wasn't meant to be chased. never a day that goes by that isn't meant to be lived.

i dress up when something casual would be more appropriate. i doodle in the margins. i dance to the songs in my head. i get excited over little things and then i gush over them. i'm easily distracted, and my love of words is bigger than my knowledge of words.
i don't like who i am, but i like who i can become.

and so this blog is here to collect my moments of serendipity. i was sad to leave my old blog, but i feel like i out grew it. i needed this; a blank page. i can't promise it will be amazing. but i promise if you will put up with my ramblings and mood swings and the occasional splash of red i throw around everywhere, it will be a journey like no other.

Serendipity: an aptitude for making wonderful discoveries by mistake.